Festival of Lights

The festival of lights was round the corner & so just like everybody else i too started to make arrangements to welcome the bounties. i started with dusting off the dust that keeps on settling in my house & in my shop ; but i forgot to dust off the prejudices that has settled in my mind over the years. i then repainted & re-furnished & decorated my house & shop afresh ; but i kept on ignoring the ideas that are new. i helped in preparing home made sweets & snacks to welcome my guests with ; but did not find the time to sweeten my feelings & emotions. i bought new clothes & utensils & gadgets that were expensive...all the time cursing the share market that has taken a nose-dive that everyone knew but again i failed to address the greed n fear factor in me which is not that new. i also bought a lot of firecrackers...more than my neighbour did & made a lot of noise but by the end of it i was full of remorse. NO, not for the pollution or egoistic trip i took in those few hours BUT for the money that i lost in the process. i did light up my house n my shop with electrical lights...a series of them & also with earthern lamps but i never gave a damn to light a lamp unto myself, within. Ritually i offered my prayers to all the Gods that really matter & put a strong case in front of Them to fulfill my demads as soon as possible ; forgtting entirely to thank for the bounties that i already possess...bounties that i did nothing to deserve. i did celebrate the festival of light as i was taught & as i wrote about in my school essays but then why do i still feel so empty...so sad...so...so...i do not know what. Did i commit a blunder in not listening to the voice within or is it because i could not find enough courage to listen up to the silence within.....???