A man is a slave of his wife if her being controls his being and the vice versa too holds equally true.
I am sure all of us want to change this precarious situation and hence we go on either changing partners or vie to change the partner in search of true love. We have even tried changing the established parameters of the institution of marriage by settling in for a live-in relationship but that too has not helped much in attaining peace. The search for this paramount desire to find a perfect soul mate goes on and i can only laugh to see the fish thirsty in water.
Excuse me, but nothing changes if we do not change.
Pain is inevitable if we marry for reasons other than love. We either marry for social or financial stability. In India marriage is a traditional custom which everyone needs to adhere to unquestioningly or else face the ire of the society. Penetrating questions are been asked by friends and family alike, if you do not marry. These questions many times cross the limits of privacy and decency.
On the other hand there are hoards of people in India who have no other option but to marry in order to fulfill their sexual desires. These desires are natural but are looked upon as a taboo or sexual perversion if one looks to lay oneself outside the institution of marriage. Obtain the license of marriage and then you can fuck as much and as long you want. It does not matter if your partner is ready or willing for it or not. Marital rapes are a common phenomenon in India and women suffer the most.
Making love as an art form which comes out of love and passion for your lover is a concept that is still alien to most men in India. That it is still so in the land of Kamsutra is a gigantic wonder to me.
Women in India generally believe that they can truly fuck someone with all their heart and soul only when they truly love that someone or else its just a duty that they are been taught not to oppose in order to keep their so called husbands happy. The same theory albeit does not hold true when it comes to some other women making passionate love to their husbands. Its like saying when I make love, I love but when you make love, you fornicate.
Double standards galore...but they do not amaze me as much since i am aware that they are a direct offshoot or outcome of a double-edged sword called mind.
Western and European people are a tad better when it comes to their acceptance of pre-marital sex but then they too rake up the issues of loyalty and commitment when it comes to extra-marital sex. No wonder that we see so many divorces happening in the western world.
Oh...such an awful waste of matrimony !!
I sincerely do not find all this strange or beyond cognition. What i do find strange is the way man has been responding to this age old challenge. Man has tried to change everything else but for himself and therein lies the reason of so much anger, so much frustration, lewd jokes about marriage, so much apathy, so many efforts to gain sympathy, so many break-ups, so many heart-aches, so many heart-burns, so much manipulation...
Oh ! The list is endless...
...and what exactly is the change that man should bring in himself?
Truly speaking, it is not even a change but a candid realization of what he truly is. In other words man will have to learn the art of loosing his egoistic " I " and find the lover that he was, he is and he will be.
If you really want peace, prosperity and love in your life and think that only God can provide you with such abundance in life - think again...
Do you really believe that it is God who fulfills your needs?
If yes, then you need not do anything and should just wait for things to happen on their own. They will surely happen to you if your belief is an unconditional trust in God and his doings.
But, if you feel that you should do something to deserve His blessings then ask for that insight which is needed to change yourself. Soon, you will find that you are no longer asking for boons and miracles to happen in your life but are feeling them shower on you incessantly and in every moment of your life.
You will no longer be a beggar in your prayers but a lover who profoundly thanks Almighty for giving you so much of Love, Understanding, Care and Kindness - i call it L.U.C.K.
You will be filled with immense gratitude towards existence - you can call it God or whatever you please - for providing you not only with the eyes to see the world but also with the insight to observe its beauty just as the way it is.
You shall see the world change with you.
Trust me not on this but do trust yourself because trust is always on the self.
It turns into an expectation when it is on others.
There is no bigger expectation in the world of marriage than to expect loyalty from the other.
Loyalty is like a text message - you have all the rights in the world to send it to as many people you like ( only 100 per day in India ) but you have absolutely no right to demand an equal, better or pleasing response.
Some people might respond out of sympathy, love, care or business but then again it is not your right - it is there own sweet will to do so. You do get necessary oxygen for the survival of such relations in such cases but i presume living on a ventilator cannot be as much fun as living on love is.
We need to realize that God is not only the creator but also the created and the art of creation and He created us as an exact replica of Himself with love. He did not give us our male or female counterparts to punish us but to find our true self with the help and love of each-other.
Marriage is just an idea to realize that truth.
The onus to turn this idea into an excellent one or to transform it into a hellish one lies on us humans. They say that marriages are made in heaven but lived in hell and yes, they will continue to be in the right till the couple continues to remain a pair instead of thriving to be one single unit with two metaphysical forms.
We, as integral masculine and feminine parts of Him are not here to compete with each-other but are sent to complete each-other.
Satiation is not going to come by changing partners but by changing self. Peace is going to last forever when we find our true self. Prosperity shall be abundant when we find ourselves filled with so much love that it over flows out of joy and compassion - when ye seek not love but give it by being one with love.
Agreed that conditions today seem hopeless to be so. Agreed that man, since times immemorial, has proved himself to be a bad case but then he is the only hope of resurrection too.
Hope, against all hopes that man learns and learns quickly enough not to make an over sized issue of insignificant things...learn not to bring the third between the two especially when there doesn't even exist the two.
What exists is pure love...
We have just forgotten our true self. We are nothing but love, love, love and love...
What is been remembered the most today, is the fake and loveless " I ".
This has happened because man has lost all trust in the bliss that is felt in being totally aware and awake to the now and here. To think either of the past events with regret or boast, or to dwell in future plans with a dream or insecurity is the hallmark of a man in total possession of his own mind.
Non-sense it is to live in that moment which has gone past or to dream of that moment which is yet to come but non-sense when it gets repeated time and again assumes the proportion of an arrogant un-willingness to learn and grow.
It is the decisions that you adopt in the now and here that will make or mar your future. Past prejudices, learning or experience as some mentally old people like to call it, is not going to help you take a fresh stance for a fresh situation. Life is an extra-ordinary teacher and is so creative that it never repeats itself by asking copybook questions. You need to be fresh, joyous, attentive and ever ready to face the challenges life puts forth to churn the best out of you.
Mind likes to believe in itself as an extra-ordinary exception too but it knows not that there is only uniqueness which throngs and manifests in this universe.
Man is a dis-ease and that is his boon and his doom, at once.
He is not at ease with what he is and that not only leads him to growth but also restlessness, at once.
Meditation is the best medicine in such a situation as it treats not just the disease but the patient too, at once.
You know, heart is like a king, mind is his minister and the inner vice of our conscience is the God.
The minister goes in the world, comes back and informs the king about the status of his kingdom. The king listens carefully to the observations of the minister but does not take them as final verdict. He just looks at the whole situation with an equanimous eye and the decision appears naturally, on its own. The king might arrive at a decision which appears irrational, unjust or foolish to the minister but the king has the power to get his say implemented on his subjects.
This is when the minister revolts and tries to enslave the king by justifying his stand. The minister adopts cunning ways to do so. He uses his worldly wise brain and an army of sensory cohorts to achieve his supremacy over the king. If the inner voice of our conscience, that is God, allows the mutiny to be successful, the heart is filled with pain.
Today, science affirms the presence of such minister called mind as Type-A personality. Such a mind can go to any length, do anything to gain money, name and/or fame. Attainment or fulfillment of his aim or his ambition is his prime objective to establish his supremacy over an unsuspecting heart.
You find such Type-A personalities rampant and dominating in every walk of life be it politics, art, spirituality, sports,, business, journalism etc. etc etc.
These personalities are very very successful in material terms and are very very prone to life threatening diseases like heart-attack, high blood pressure, diabetes etc. etc. etc.,
Ya ! all at once !
Darwin tells me,"Survival of the fittest my dear, Survival of the fittest !!"
"True in animal kingdom, my dear Sir, very true", i tell Mr. Darwin.
What i can not tell him now but can definitely share with you at this moment of time is this :
LIFE IS NOT JUST ABOUT SURVIVING AS IN SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ; IT IS ALSO ABOUT HAVING SOME FUN.
Life then, is not about knowing what is right or what is wrong ; it is all about being able to recognize that voice of our conscience, that heart-song.
Don't you think that a remote controlled life would be as boring and predictable as a scripted reality show, especially when it is your life and you are the main protagonist?
The beauty and excitement of life is in its unpredictable nature.
Tell me, can you watch the same movie, even if it is your favourite one, a thousand times and with as much zeal and emotions which you felt while watching it for the first time?
You still want to play safe in this game of uncertainty called life?
So, it should not be a problem if our legal spouse fucks us on a daily basis. After all, s/he is licensed to do that. Licensed, not just by the federal law but by the natural law too. So, its better to enjoy the fuck instead of crying hoarse and making a public issue of it.
It is always easy and convenient to blame a speechless institution of marriage rather than going through the rigors of blaming a loveless individual and that individual is no other but you.
i now pronounce you - MAN and WIFE
You may now kiss...
Man is bad case....isn't he?